We zoomed way, way, indecently way in to be sure. Couldn't have been more clear had she been sporting big ol hooters and a bundle of shopping bags. Definitely el feminito. Er...la femina. Portuganlish, oui.
A girl? Why did no one see this coming? Except for that one crazy lady at work, who said she thought I would be perfect for a girl's father, as I was -- and these are her words, not mine -- a girly man.
Suddenly, visions of buying gifts for my kids went from, "Hey Pops, will you buy me this kick-ass bass guitar?" to "Daddy, I reallyreallyreally need this Bratz vomitpink playset with prosti-tot accessories." Shudder.
I'm gonna be a horrible dad for a girl. Her only hope is if she happens to grow up as a lesbian goth chick.
"Daddy, can I have some money for these hella cool pink strappy sandals with sparklie bling 'hot stuff' lettering bedazzled on the sides?" Fuuuuuck no.
"Yo, I need some dough for black nail polish and an 'eat me' t-shirt." Here's a fifty, Pumpkin. Treat your friends to something nice too.
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1 comment:
Finally, an update! I've been so excited for this moment! You'd think that one of these days your wife and I would be able to stop this game of telephone tag we have going!
A girl! Wow! I'm so happy for you. Don't worry too much about it, in no time she'll have you trained on the proper tea-party ettiquet.
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