Monday, July 27, 2009

These Showers Don't Bring May Flowers

The Setting: 4th of July weekend barbeque.
The Players: Lots of adults, lots of kids.
The Props: Beef, Beer, Brats, and of course, fireworks of every sort.

The tagline: "Hey, Daddy, can I try a Golden Shower?"

"wha-? heeheehee Wh-What did you say?" (giggle)
The lettering, bold on the side of this firework, big capital letters: "THE GOLDEN SHOWER"

Everyone is calmly and ponderously checking out the crazy Jason. Crazy Jason is wiping beer from his nostrils and tears from his eyes. "Does no one else think this is hilarious?"
"What's wrong with that guy?" "I dunno. But keep him away from the guac. Ew."

Dumb Shit We Sing To The Kids At Bedtime

Jam-mies. Jam-mies.
And I hope you like jammies too.
We're jammies, we're jammies, we're jammies, we're jammies.
Hope you like jammies too.