Wiping 101

Potty Training: Ok, The Boy finally has it down. We are no longer pooing (and mostly not peeing) in our pants. We get a warning, we rush him to the potty and voila, shazam, presto-chango, abbra-cadabbra, a-la-peanut-butter-sandwiches, by-the-power-of-Greyskull -- however you feel like expressing it -- success!

So, now, here is the part that stumps me:

"Ok, now we wipe."
"Ok, Daddy."
He grabs a few squares of TP, leans to the right like an old man getting his finger pulled, and dabs at his left cheek before jumping off the potty.

"No no. Get back up there. Here's some more toilet paper. Try again. You want to be nice and clean."
He looks at me quizically, then dabs at his wee before dropping the paper in the toilet.
"Your butt, son, wipe your butt." Some more TP.

Clearly, a demonstration is in order. Great idea: I'll show the boy what I mean, and I'll very clinically describe the process.

"You want to really get in there with the toilet paper. Don't be afraid to dig a little bit. And if you need more toilet paper, you've got plenty. Can you reach ok? Give it a try."

And then I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Bent over, grasping my own ass -- digging, if you will -- at the appropriate place in the back of my jeans. The guy in the mirror looking back at me has the audacity to look somewhat shocked and embarrased.

And then that old South Park line runs through my head: "Whoa, this is pretty fucked up right here."