Ahh, the magic of Santa

We did a pretty light Xmas this year. No huge gifts or expensive anythings, just a few things wrapped under the tree. Still, the boy was overly enthusiastic.

"Wow! Look at that! Oh wow! It's a...it's a shirt!"

Tea. Just tea.

J: "Honey, do we have any tea?"
H: "Do you want sleepy tea, or kick-you-in-the-nuts caffeine tea?"
J: "Uhh...."

'Tis the Season

H: "Frosty, the snowman, was a jolly happy soul. With a corncob pipe and two button eyes and a ... hat...made out of...coal...wait. How does it go?"
G: "Mommy, I don't like that song."

Potty-Training Woes

A festive evening; roaring fire, cookies baking, child playing with his 'Thomas' set. And then....

"Ugh, G! Come on, let's go get in the bath and then put some dry pants on."
"No bath! It's time for cookies."
"We can't have cookies now because you peed on your trains."
"No, I didn't pee on trains. I peed on the carpet."

Sigh.

What am I?

Co-Worker: "So, I was talking to a friend, and he called me a geek. I told him I'm not a geek, I'm a nerd. How do I explain the difference between a geek and a nerd?"
J: "Geeks are totally dorkier than nerds."
CW: "Totally."

Where do you learn these things?

"G, you wanna go to the pizza shop with daddy?"
"Hot damn!"

Who are these people?

"J, come look at what Crazy Grandma sent us for Christmas."

So, right off the bat I'm at a loss. 'Crazy Grandma' could describe any one of three or four different people equally well.

"A wig. A big, red, curly-haired wig."

Well, I suppose it could come in handy on any number of occassions. A living-room production of Annie. Streetwalking. Umm, I guess that's all.

"And this rock."
"Hmm. Maybe it's a bookend."
"I think it's just a rock."
"What's the battery for?"
"That's the third present."

Why can't I just be Daddy?

At the store, I had wandered off by myself, leaving H and G to browse at their leisure. Then the boy decided I was to be summoned. But how? "Daddy" is much too vague and casual for such a classy place.

So, I hear some kid yelling out "J!" at the top of his lungs, and it takes me a moment to realize, hey! that's me.

And it's pretty much been me ever since, despite the gentle 'Call me daddy' reminders.

Games to Play at Home

G had been sick with a cold that was stopping him up. So, we decided that what he needed was a nice steam to clear him out. Ahhh...but how to get the boy of three to cooperate?

"Hey, G, wanna play a great game?"
(Jumping up and down excitedly) "Yay! Yes, daddy, yes!"
"Okay, come into the bathroom! We're going to play 'Let's Make a Micro-Climate!' Oh boy!"

It was only about five minutes before he decided that LMaMC was pretty lame as far as games go, but he sure was breathing easier the rest of the night.

"Daddy? Can we play something else now?"